It’s the final stretch for my 29th year. I'm on the move, racing down the eastern coast of Australia, taking in far too many sights in too short of time, and feeling quite disconnected from this awesome country I’ve dreamt of seeing for so many years.

In the past 10 days, I’ve spent practically every day on a Greyhound bus. Beyond the expected restlessness and sense of disconnect, entire days spent staring out a bus window lend plenty of time for your mind to wander through the trials and tribulations of your life. As I reflect on where I’ve been, amazed by where I am, and wondering where I’m headed, I feel different, different even from the woman I was when I arrived in New Zealand just two months ago.

Whether it’s my recent travels or the gradual evolution of my mind and persona, I see a new person when I look in the mirror. I can’t say if I’m happy or sad about the change… I’m decidedly neutral on the subject. In some ways, I’m sad that I’ll never know the bold idealism and boundless energy of my early 20’s, but the growing ease of being and quiet sophistication of late is something new to my style – an increasingly mature approach to seeing the world for what it is and not what I want it to be.

I see myself silently crossing a momentous threshold, leaving behind the whimsical fantasies and naïve ideals of my youth and entering into a new adult dimension of self-realized success and actualized dreams.

Of course, this wasn’t a sudden transformation, but more of a gradual mental metamorphosis that has been well underway for a good two or three years now. It’s a state of mind I’ve been approaching for quite some time, but needed the unforgiving solitude of the past couple months to really get me there.

After nearly 5 months of steady distraction and external focus, the soul searching has begun. My vision quest has started its introspection and a relentless river of life questions is coursing strong through my mind. And whether by coincidence or by the expected flow chart of being, it’s all happening in the month leading up to my 30th birthday.

The rush of emotion, self-doubt, inspiration, memory and aspiration is at times overwhelming, yet spectacular in scope. After all, this is what I hoped to gain from my great escape. I can guarantee that I will return home wiser yet humbled, older yet younger at heart, evolved yet still growing, and well-traveled yet always hungry for new experiences.

June 12, 2006